Danger Zone (Tuesday, May 05, 1998 -Part 5-)

CNWF²
DANGER ZONE
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Sacramento, California
(Standard Arena)
Tuesday, May 05, 1998
Time: 09:00:00 p.m. {Fifth Segment}
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{cut to shot of the commentary table}
Knee Johnson, Dexter Copeland, and Frenchie Parker are sitting at the commentary table. Knee Johnson is wiping his forehead with a cloth, evidently wiping away sweat. He turns to his side and pats the beer keg, then looks back in the general vicinity of the camera.

{commentary}
Knee Johnson: I was afraid in the first hour that Lex was gonna force me ta get rid of my beer keg!

Frenchie Parker: Maybe, Knee. But welcome back everyone to Danger Zone! We really had a spectacular first hour which was thoroughly enjoyed by this near capacity crowd, but the second hour promises even more action.

Dexter Copeland: Yup! See, we got da Mighty Mushroom Head an' Suicide takin' eachother on. Den we got F.B.I. takin' on Ten Ton. But dat ain't even da start of everything! We got dis huge double main event when Dominator of Destruction faces Assassin for the United States Heavyweight Championship. An' den we got da tag match between "Go'ly" Ken Davison an' a mystery partner takin' on Takahiro Takahashi an' a mystery partner.

Knee Johnson: Frankly I couldn't give a damn about "Taco Bell" Takahashi at all! I don't know how this match made the main event when we're gonna see Assassin, the traitor, get his just desserts.

Frenchie Parker: There's obviously a big plan goin' down in that match... but wait. I'm getting word that the camera crew has caught up with Jason Agony! Let's get right to this!

{cut}
[The camara now closes in on a candle. This candle is the only thing lighting up the room its handler is in. Backing up a bit, Jason Agony can now be seen in the dim light.]

Jason Agony: Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Kain Piller... was it really worth it. Your lifetime of greed and lies I mean. I know that I can cleanly say that what ever form of punishment I receive will indeed be worth it. Seeing your body hanging so limply was enough of a reward to last this "true" anarchist a lifetime! It is just a shame I didn't have anymore rope for guys like the Assassin and the Rabbi. Hehe!

[Jason pauses and looks around for a moment]

I can hear the security guards looking for me now. I am right underneath their Rent-a-Piggy- noses! Jeff Beam, I guess I chose a pretty bad time to try to kill somebody, huh? You finally grew the balls to step into the ring with "Senior El Loco Cojnes", and I am going to miss it. See if you can take out the Assassin without me. Speaking of which...

Assassin, I promised that we'd lock up and indeed we will. And when we do, that little stipulation ya added sounds good to me. Now you said that I speak of things that I know nothing about. How the heck do you figure that? What I preach is pure fact. You and everybody else for that matter, just come out contradicting your selves, spread the lies that you were taught by your equally blind parents, and prove me right with your nieveness on what I speak of. So spread that on your wonder bread, Skippy! Haha! You say that I do not know what you are thinking. Well, yeah I do when you come out and back up what I say. Another example of this is the way you constantly ridicule me for being locked up in a sanitarium. I've explained why I was put there. It wasn't my fault, but yet you like to keep throwing it in my face. Your mockery of the incident and Jeff Beam's calling me a "freak" are the same thing. And he paid for it! As will you... So if you are fishing for compliments I got one. Assassin, I love the way you hide your humanity! Hahaha! And that quote about bosses doesn't just apply to me, but is sure as hell doesn't apply to you, Lapdog! Hahahahahahahahaahahaha!!! Dang, I'm gonna give myself away here.... Okay, one last thing. Mr. Lex Victor. I really would not reccod hanging out in the back area tonight! Hahahahaha! [blows candle out] "Into the night I go... and you can't follow me!"

[Camara switches back to shot of broacast team.]

{cut to shot of the commentary table}
Frenchie Parker: Talk about a demented man!

Knee Johnson: Any enemy of Piller's is a friend of mine.

Dexter Copeland: Piller's an enemy o' Pelius, dough! If dat match evah happens, who would you vote for?

Knee Johnson: I'd probably vote for them ta knock the hell out of eachother so I don't have ta see them again.

Frenchie Parker: I knew you'd say something like that!

{cut to shot of the ring}
Once again the ring announcer is standing in the center of the ring ready to announce the upcoming match.

{ring}
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first from Boston Massachusetts, weighing two-hundred thirty-eight pounds... Suicide!

{cut to shot of the walkway}
"Madman" by Silverchair plays, and he walks out from the locker room and heads straight to the ring without any deviation from his course. The fans barely react to him at all.

{cut to shot of the ring}
Suicide steps in the ring and waits for the match to begin.

{commentary}
Knee Johnson: Suicide may have beat Pelius of Clamorus and [chuckles momentarily] Kain Piller, but I get the feelin' that Mighty Mushroom Head is gonna show him just what he can do in the ring.

Frenchie Parker: I don't know, Knee. Suicide's a feisty little character and you have no idea just what the guy might pull off!

Dexter Copeland: Damn... I'm a Suicide fan an' even _I_ have to say dat da man is goin' down!

Frenchie Parker: Seriously... this guy has pulled some bigger upsets than this one.

{ring}
Ring Announcer: And his opponent from Palookaville...

{commentary}
Knee Johnson: Palookaville?

{ring}
Ring Announcer: ... weighing in tonight at two-hundred thirty-eight pounds... here is the Mighty Mushroom Head!

{cut to shot of the walkway}
The music fades out as mist begans to spray towards the entrance way and colorful lights began to shine throught the arena. Mighty Mushroom Head then steps into the arena sporting tennis shoes with mismatched socks, overalls with one strap up, one down, a tie dye shirt and beads around his neck. He receives quite a negative reaction though he does have his fans with whom he slaps hands with.

{cut to shot of the ring}
Mighty Mushroom Head slides into the ring under the bottom rope and waits for the match to begin.

{commentary}
Knee Johnson: This guy hates President Lex Victor! An enemy of Lex's is a friend of mine!

Frenchie Parker: Lex has a lot of enemies these days, Knee. That covers a lot of ground.

Knee Johnson: Well, how about Kain Piller? Isn't he the biggest corporate ass kisser of all time?

Frenchie Parker: No way!

Dexter Copeland: Damn, Knee, I don't know what rock you been hidin' under fo' da pas' year, but Kain Pilla' ain't nevah been much of a friend of Lex... 'specially since July o' las' year.

Knee Johnson: No way!

Frenchie Parker: What's this?

{cut to shot of the commentary table area}
The Beantown Bully is sitting down in a seat at the commentary table on the right side of the commentary table next to Frenchie Parker. Knee Johnson looks visibly perturbed by his presence.

{commentary}
Frenchie Parker: Welcome to the show!

Beantown Bully: Yeah.

Knee Johnson: What the hell are you doing here?

Beantown Bully: Listen up! I don't want to hear any lip from you tonight, got it?

Knee Johnson: Your wish ain't my command.

{cut to shot of the ring}
The bell rings and immediately Suicide charges the Mighty Mushroom Head.

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The Mighty Mushroom Head vs Suicide
6'-4", 238 lbs — 6'-3", 238 lbs
(One Fall Singles Match)
___________________________

{ring}
The Mighty Mushroom Head ducks Suicide as he runs at him. Suicide bounces off the ropes and flies at 'Shroom with a cross body block, but 'Shroom counters that with a drop kick which causes booing to erupt from the audience. 'Shroom laughs as he sees Suicide rolling on the canvas holding his stomach.

{commentary}
Knee Johnson: Ha ha! That had ta hurt that stupid Suicide! I know you like that one, eh Beany?

Beantown Bully: Knee, I really couldn't give a _damn_ about Suicide anymore. The MoB is over just like your stupid PsYcho ConnectioN. Get over it.

Dexter Copeland: What about da match, guys?

{ring}
Suicide gets up from the canvas only to have 'Shroom attempt to lock up with him. Suicide manages to duck than, then run toward the ropes. Suicide bounces off the ropes then tries to get a lot of momentum going to execute some kind of maneuver, but that will never be known as Suicide soon catches a stiff Yakuza kick which levels him down to the canvas. 'Shroom wastes no time going for the cover.

{commentary}
Frenchie Parker: That was the "'Shroom Kick"! He's goin' for the cover! One! Two! Three! He won!

Dexter Copeland: Damn! Po' Suicide.

Knee Johnson: Look at that jerk! Serves him right!

Beantown Bully: You don't know what you're talkin' about, Knee. If you came out here every day to wrestle like the rest of us you wouldn't be laughing at someone's demise. Yeah, some of these guys deserve it... but it ain't nothin' to laugh about.

Knee Johnson: I don't need your preaching, Bully. I've always done things my own way and I ain't changin' for you!

Beantown Bully: That's 'cause it's time for a change. Wimps need not apply. That's you, Knee.

Knee Johnson: Yeah... it is time for a change alright. _Your_ diaper!

Beantown Bully: One more remark like that and ya dead!

{ring}
The booing continues as Head is named the winner of the match and his arm is raised in victory. 'Shroom soon breaks away from the referee and starts attacking Suicide while he's down. The booing continues more. The referee comes over and tries to seperate him from Suicide, but is shoved to the canvas by 'Shroom. 'Shroom then picks up Suicide and lays a big Yakuza kick on him which can be heard clearly throughout the arena. Suicide falls down like a ton of bricks from the impact and doesn't get up. In fact, he doesn't even move. 'Shroom then leaves the ring laughing.

{commentary}
Frenchie Parker: Oh no! This is just horrible!

Dexter Copeland: Can't we all jus' get along?

Knee Johnson: Not with Beany over here.

{ring}
Soon the ring is surrounded by medical aid people who carry Suicide out of the ring and on to a stretcher. They leave fairly quickly as well, but Suicide did not move on his own accord the whole time.

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The Mighty Mushroom Head by Pin Via Yakuza "'Shroom" Kick
___________________________

{cut to shot of the commentary table}
The Beantown Bully and Knee Johnson look to be quite angry at this time.

{commentary}
Frenchie Parker: This is horrible! The way 'Shroom hit Suicide with that Yakuza last time sure didn't look very friendly. I don't know what kind of medical condition he'll be in... but we'll get a report out later on if we receive any word on his condition.

Knee Johnson: Yep! And that's exactly what's gonna happen to Beantown in the next few weeks!

Beantown Bully: What was that?

Knee Johnson: This!

{commentary area}
Knee Johnson gets out of his chair and pulls up the tube leading from the beer keg and expertly aims it at Beantown Bully. Without warning the whir of the electric pump starts up once again causing a high pressure jet of beer to shoot from the nozzle of tube hitting Bully square in the chest. As that happens, Dexter Copeland and Frenchie Parker get up from their seats to avoid being splattered with beer. In the background, the audience is cheering from the excitement of actually seeing action happening at the commentary table.

The Beantown Bully becomes furious in no time as a result and charges Knee who even so relentlessly sprays the Bully with the beer. That comes to an abrupt halt when he tackles Knee to the floor and starts pummeling his face. The audience, seeing that Bully has taken the advantage, cheers that much more now that the good side is winning.

{commentary}
Frenchie Parker: Oh my! What's goin' on?

{cut to shot of the walkway}
The cheers soon turn to boos as "Stone Old" Steve Austin runs down the aisle with his cane in his hand, though the doddering fool isn't using it. It becomes quite obvious that the object is merely a decoration because he runs quite briskly without any signs of pain.

{commentary}
Frenchie Parker: It's a miricle! He can walk!

Dexter Copeland: He's walked befo' Frenchie. He's even wrestled!

{cut to shot of the commentary table area}
Bully is still pummeling away at Knee when suddenly the Bully is hit hard on the back of the head by Stone Old's cane thus breaking it in half. Bully, now dazed, is rolled into the ring by Stone Old. When Stone Old enters the ring the referee rings the bell starting an unscheduled match.

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Beantown Bully vs "Stone Old" Steve Austin
6'-1", 254 lbs — 6'-2", 198 lbs
(One Fall Singles Match)
___________________________

{ring}
Stone Old picks up Bully off the canvas who quickly elbows him in the gut. Bully then whips Old to the ropes. As the old man comes off the ropes, Bully catches him with a thunderous spine buster and quickly goes for a cover.

{commentary}
Frenchie Parker: That's the Beantown Beatdown! A cover! One! Two! Three! It's over! Bully wins!

Dexter Copeland: Yeah! Dat's a'ight!

{ring}
Stone Old is rolling on the canvas as the Bully exits the ring quickly.

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Beantown Bully by Pin Via "Beantown Beatdown" Spine Buster
___________________________

{cut to shot of the commentary table}
Knee Johnson and his beer keg are no longer in view. Only Dexter Copeland and Frenchie Parker remain at the table.

{commentary}
Dexter Copeland: Damn, dat was somethin'!

Frenchie Parker: Ya know it! Bully sure showed Knee and Stone Old that ya just can't mess with them!

Dexter Copeland: I know da Bully gonna be on fire in the weeks to come!

Frenchie Parker: We can only hope so, Dex. Anyway, we have to go to a commercial break. We still have Frederick B. Inkel and Ten Ton's match to come before the big double main event. Boy, this is gonna be some hot action tonight that ya won't wanna miss! And we still have no word on the condition of Suicide, so we can only hope that he's alright.

Dexter Copeland: Yeah. Suicide's a good wrestler. I wouldn't wanna see him out fo' da count.

Frenchie Parker: I'm afraid that just might have happened. Mushroom hit him pretty hard with that kick of his.

Dexter Copeland: Dat was scary, man.

Frenchie Parker: Yeah, but as I said, we have a commercial break to go to so don't go away!

{commentary area}
The camera soon fades out to make way for the oncoming commercials.
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|— {Commercial Break} |
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